Damn, how lucky am I? For the past five revolutions of the sun, I’ve taken a moment to write about aging, changing and evolving. Today is the same, and I’m so beyond grateful to have lived this past year.
If you know me, or have followed me to any extent, you know I’ve been on a journey of self discovery, with no end destination in sight. Last year, I lamented about being middle aged, gaining weight, and trying to still be cool.
Over the last 365 days, I’ve had the opportunity to encourage my own curiosity, learn at a pace faster than I deserve, experience joy, aggressively, and wonder in all the magic that is this world.
I’ve lost the 15 pounds I didn’t like. That changed absolutely nothing about me - it didn’t make me smarter, stronger, or more endearing. It did, however, ease the ache in my back after long days of standing upright at work photographing people in love.
I got to be one of those people, photographed in love this spring. Surrounded by my children, I married the love of my life and the person who has supported me in my quest to be, well, me. I’ve learned what it’s like to have someone so selfishly love me and how to love like that in return.
I’ve watched more sunrises in the last year than in the last ten combined. I’ve watched as the rays glint into my home, creating vibrant cascades of scattered light across a collection on memories on our walls and shelves.
The glimmers of ecstatic joy echo inside the chambers of my still beating heart every time my children smile, laugh and say I love you. They, too, have grown in such beautiful ways.
I’ve recognized I am the best version on myself - so far. I have the supreme honor to continue chasing down better Courtneys every single day.
I’ve set goals, not quietly or meekly. I’ve tasted what being victorious in my own professional battles is like. I’ve failed, too, but not failed to learn in defeats.
My company was named the best photography business in Kansas City, myself the best photographer of engagements and weddings. That’s great. Though, not as great as seeing the appreciation on the faces of my clients when they finally view themselves the way I do - as beautiful beings.
I’ve lived, breathed, sobbed myself into puddles of pain on bathroom floors and soared sky high in joy and reverence.
Thirty-nine times I’ve lived a solar return.
Thirty-nine times I’ve opened my eyes as a person on this planet on the day of my entry.
I hope and pray every day that with each passing breath and sigh I continue to grow, learn and feel the human experience for as long as nature will allow.
If it were done with a snap of fingers tomorrow, I would not leave wanting.
It’s a lie to say it isn’t bittersweet to have the last 365 days of this decade before me. It would definitely be a lie to say I’m not scared of what is ahead, but what a treat it is to find out.
Happy birthday to me. Today, and everyday.
-Court
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